After reading a news story about a teacher who started a blog regarding her high school students lack of enthusiasm and downright lack of respect I started thinking, when did all this start?
Have we become a nation of whiners? Kids (with the exception of a small percentage) have no respect for adults because we don't demand it. This could be due to the fact that we have painted ourselves into a corner by giving them the rights of adults, we also treat them like adults or perhaps we just act like children its probably a combination of both. I remember when I was young it was "yes sir", "no sir", "yes maam" well you get my point. Now its "shut up you can't tell me what to do" and if you try I'll call the police and report you to child services, all this while they're texting their friend. To me this all started when kids became responsible for their actions at to young an age, if you're a kid and you get caught with beer, pot, causing trouble, curfew and the likes you are ARRESTED, not the old proverbial slap in the hand and wait till your mother finds out. This has lead to kids not giving a damn if their parents find out because what are you parents gonna do about it, probably nothing. We now feel guilt when we chastise our kids so the outcome is usually let them do what they want so we don't have to listen to them whine about the terms of their punishment. While I don't hit my kids I do ground them from devices and friends. I try to get them to communicate with adults rather than just stare blindly into space with nothing to say. If parents stop trying to be friends with their kids and teach them respect, then and only then will kids act with respect outside the home. This may lead kids to hold other kids accountable for their actions in schools.
Our society has given kids and mediocrity the upper hand thereby lowering the expectations of achievement based learning and thus creating the entitlement era that seems to span from kids to (I hate to post this) 40 year olds (Not all 40 year olds mind you) but they're out there. You can be conservative, moderate or liberal and still teach your kids respect with out crossing boundaries of politics. Giving respect leads to having respect for yourself as well, to often kids grow up wondering why after they're out in the real world they can't succeed. All of a sudden they find out what its like to NOT get it now even though they want it NOW. They've been raised with no expectations and therefore they can't make it in the outside world. In my business I first give respect, if I don't get it back then I can't help you achieve your goals. If parents and schools would adopt this train of thinking that would be a start. In other words if your a loser than guess what, ITS YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT. OK that was harsh, but sometimes being a loser at something is just what we need to give ourselves a kick in the butt to do better. By losing we put ourselves in a position to work harder, we can only move upward, in order to move upward we need help from others, we will only receive that help if we show respect to those helping us better ourselves, do you see where this is headed? Stop rewarding mediocrity and passing kids to the next level, your not doing them any good. I take this approach with fitness training, helping my clients to understand what levels they can achieve if shown the different levels of work, not just the passing grade but levels they thought they couldn't reach.
Please respond to this blog and give me your input!
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2 comments:
Greg, I tend to agree. Respect is non partisian and lacking. In my experience, students DEMAND respect, but do not give it and do not feel the need to EARN it. Is that their fault? I want to say yes, but in reality it is most likely that they have not been taught better.
Kids need parents, not buddies. It aint easy to say No. It takes more time to do something with your kids than to plunk them down in front of NON reality tv and computer games. But who promised parents it would be easy.
In fairness, the disrespectful may be a minority, but those are certainly the ones who get noticed by us old guys.
For the most part, I agree, and hold parents and voters accountable. I believe what you are seeing with kids is a symptom of how society as evolved over the last 30 years as a whole. We lack real leadership.
"What's in it for me" has become the theme of our society, and no example is more prevalent than the corruption in politics. Every week some new scandal is revealed.
The biggest movement in the 21st century will be the abdication of personal responsibility. We have become an nation of "entitlement". When my parents were children you were ashamed to be on welfare or unemployment. Now I hear my friends saying they hope the benefits are extended because they don't feel like getting a job. I'm sure that's the minority, but I've heard it more than once.
What were once privileges, are considered our God-given rights because we have learned to feel entitled to them.
We blame others for our faults and problems instead of owning up to them. This has translated to our children. And I agree whole-heartedly with Gary: When our kids are kids, we are their parents, not their friends. That doesn't mean we stop listening to them, but rather we take the time to teach them what's right. Parenting is not an efficient profession...
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